Recents in Beach

Give us a wave

Surfer in hospital

 An Australian surfer is recovering in hospital this evening after a brutal COVID-related attack on Newquay beach.

Speaking from his ICU Bed, Bobby ‘Smooth Move’ Wombat, 35, told the Badger, “It was  horrible.  I was just making small talk with this local pom queuing for a beer.  He asked me what I wanted and I replied I was hoping for a really big wave this week.  Before I knew it, he had taken of one of his shoes and was beating the living dingo out of me!”

A tearful Geoff Hitler, 64, later told police, “I can’t take this COVID shit anymore.  I used to be the CEO of a string of low-grade strip joints, but now I live in a skip behind WH Smith.  I just snapped today.  And what the hell is surfing anyway?  Never heard of it.  Sounds silly.  Must be the devil’s work.”