Recents in Beach

Ingenuity helicopter discovers life on Mars

Ingenuity Helicopter Alien

NASA was left broken this morning after the Ingenuity helicopter discovered a Greggs sausage roll wrapper on the surface of Mars. 

Hank Mercury, lead researcher, told the Badger, "All those years of dreaming of what life, what wonders, what history we might find, ruined! And God only knows what we’ll find next. A pink onesie? A dodgy giro check? A kilogram of gold jewellery worth £4.50?"

Bella Ringer, an anthropologist from The Margate Science Group, later told reporters, "It is possible Martians were just a bunch of work-dodging, astral-couch potatoes, pushed into extinction through sloth and high cholesterol. It’s also very likely, the Jezero crater was once full of pastry and a poor-quality meat-like protein.’   

Jeff Wayne will be livid.