Recents in Beach

Coronavirus Lock-down!

Prison isolation cell picture

West London, UK - Justin Lockemurp, governor of HM Prison Wormwood Scrubs, came under fierce criticism today as it was revealed that his prison had been renting out isolation cells to fee-paying customers for £900 a night.

He told our reporters: "I don't see the problem.  Our prisoners don't like the isolation cells, which are terribly spartan and potentially psychologically damaging in the long term; so they are only too grateful to be released back into the general prison population where the prospect of social contact and a regular supply of drugs can be a real morale booster.

Our clients, however, are only too grateful for the cells. The enforced isolation and daily hosepipe regime ensure minimal risk of contracting anything but a common cold, plus there's the bonus of a guaranteed supply of toilet rolls! Coronavirus doesn't stand a chance!

I'd consider this a win-win situation for all, wouldn't you?"