Recents in Beach

Royal Crystal

Meghan and Harry Meth Lab Picture

The world was in shock yesterday after it was claimed that treason-dodgers Harry and Megan moved to Canada, not for greater privacy, but to set up a lucrative crystal meth empire.

Ex-Royal Correspondent Marmot Dirtburgler told the Badger, “People might be shocked but I saw this coming. Harry loves Breaking Bad and the Godfather movies. Megan loves Canadian meth and found UK strains most unsatisfactory. Did you know she’s on her third set of teeth?

With the money they are receiving from his father they will have a string of labs up and running in no time. This is no pipe dream.”

Timmy ‘Two Teeth’ Boardwalk, a low level drugs bum from Nova Scotia, told us, “I can’t wait. A bit of class is just what us crank heads need!”

It is rumoured that Royal Crystal will be marketed with a number of commemorative items including plates, mugs, stamps and toothpaste.