Recents in Beach

Pedalo A Go Go

pedalo in channel picture

Boris Johnson kicked off the brave new world of Brexit Britain yesterday by announcing that a fleet of 10,000 pedalos have been launched from Dover in support of the Government’s new emigration plan.

A bullish Johnson told the Badger, “Thinning down the UK population is an important step towards a stronger Britain. And to be frank, if we don’t do it, we will quickly run out of food, water and fuel."

Emigrant selection has been based on scores collected from a UK Knowledge questionnaire.

Tory Spokesman, Damsel Exodus, told the Badger “We’re already quite concerned. 80% of the first batch were overweight white people in cheap tracksuits who couldn’t stop looking at their devices or punching their kids. I’m not sure they have the fitness, let alone the aptitude to make France.

And we’d really hoped for more brown, yellow, gay, mentally ill and disabled people to make the list.”