Recents in Beach

Man Becomes Pastry

Man identifies as pasty picture

A solicitor from Cornwall was over the moon yesterday after winning his right to identify as a Cornish pasty.

Krusty Baker, 57, from St Ives, told the Badger, “I never felt like a boy or a girl growing up. I knew I was different. All I ever wanted to do was envelope myself in pastry and hang out at the local bakery, although it broke my heart when I saw people eating pasties. It was like murder!”

Baker will now wear a specially made Cornish pasty bodysuit and continue to practice law. His wife, who identifies as a deep fried Mars bar, was unavailable for comment.