Recents in Beach

Go Crazy! Revolutionary New Mindlessness Meditation Practice Launched

Mindlessness man in a paper bag picture

Mindlessness, a groundbreaking new self help tool, has been launched this morning by renown maverick, Dr Undershirt Crack-Jacket.

A typical 10 minute session requires an individual to ruminate on all the terrible things that could happen in their life whilst sitting on an incredibly uncomfortable chair, hyperventilating.

They do this while watching a Donald Trump YouTube montage, listening to very loud Coldplay and shouting, ‘I am the worlds most useless c*nt!’ over and over.

A skittish Crack-Jacket told the Badger, “Mindfulness, CBT and happiness therapy are dead! What use is relaxation when everything in modern life requires fear and disappointment?

As the stain of humankind stumbles towards extinction through a fog of bad politics, social apathy, Instagram and a dying planet, mindlessness will become a spiritual band-aid for all.”

Crikey!