Recents in Beach

Squids In

Boris Johnson fighting a giant squid picture

The House of Commons descended into chaos yesterday after Boris Johnson wrestled with a giant squid during Question Time.

Nigel, a cranch squid from the Atlantic ocean, had been hired by the government to advise on post Brexit changes to the Fishery Laws, but tempers flared after Johnson called him ‘an oversized barnacle with no back bone and poor dress sense.’

An enraged Nigel fired a stream of ink at the prime minister, who reacted swiftly, pinning the squid to the ground. They wrestled for several minutes until Nigel tired after forgetting he was no longer in his tank.

Shortly after, Johnson addressed the house claiming he had secured an important victory for Brexit and then invited everyone to a fish and chip supper at the staff canteen.

The squid was later put down but came back with some fine combative oratory of his own.