Recents in Beach

Save The Wail

Extinction rebellion activist glues himself to a bus

An extinction rebellion activist was left inconsolable yesterday, after discovering the glue he had used to cement himself to a bus in Leicester Square was made from whale.

Looking up at the sky, Damien Beetroot, 23 from Aldershot, wailed, “This is the worst thing I have ever done. I don’t think I can carry on with life. Those poor whales!”

FinFix, the Japanese manufacturers of the glue, were unavailable for comment although an industry expert did suggest they were, “probably out fishing.”