Recents in Beach

Saturday night's alright for fighting

ben stokes hooligan picture

The ‘Royal Society for Binge Drinking & Tear-Ups’ is still on cloud nine this week after England cricketer Ben Stokes was crowned BBC Sports Personality of the Year for 2019.

Speaking to the Badger over afternoon tea at the Ritz, Chairman Bradley-Jones Axehandle gushed, “Oh it was just such a lovely surprise. Wonderful. A real punch in the arm. I think people sometimes forget how much good work we do in the community. A good piss-up and brawl can really bring people together.

Ben winning this prize has really helped raise awareness. As a nation of heavy drinkers and obtuse scrappers we should take a moment to feel proud of who we are.  What it means to be really British - home and abroad.

The heady days of binging and wrecking our way through Ibiza, Magaluf, Cos and Croydon may have passed but we still prevail.  It’s in our DNA. I mean just yesterday, me and a few of the boys hit the town after an afternoon at Kew Gardens. Nine pints of Stella and twenty shots later we were whooping a group of gay men with our shoes because they looked at us wrong. Wonderful stuff.

It’s all on CCTV so we’re all hoping we might get nominated for an award too. It made the hangover Eggs Benedict at the Mayfair Book Club cafe all the more enjoyable.”