Recents in Beach

No Woman, No Pride

Funny lion picture

London Zoo was in lockdown yesterday after a vegan was mauled by a lion. Marlene Broccoli, 28 from ‘Mother's Earth’ (near Hove) had climbed into the big cats enclosure in order to persuade Clive, the eldest male, and leader of the pack ‘to give up eating meat’.

A shocked observer later told our reporters, “I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. She crept up to the lion and started telling him he should give up eating animals and eat vegetables, roots and berries instead, because 'that’s what the planet wanted'. At first Clive seemed generally disinterested but then the mad bint starting prodding him with a stick of celery and calling him ‘one of the worlds most evil leaders.'"  Then all hell broke loose.

The zoo later confirmed that the lion was destroyed, but after some kind words and a nice steak felt much better.