Recents in Beach

Global Warming (Mrs)

Feminists demand climate justice protest

Following the opening of the latest Extinction Rebellion knees-up in Madrid, Gender CC, a merry sect of lady activists had a day they would never forget.

Initially CC faced derision from some quarters of the press after they proudly shared their mission statement to ‘work for gender equality and climate justice’.

Farley Right of the Daily Mail was particularly upset, saying “This does little good for either cause. It’s just exclusive nonsense. You don’t need to be an empowered woman to a plant tree and feel smug about it. What next? Orienteering and the blind? Sumo Wrestling and Diabetes? Love Island and learning to read? Better gun control and Republicans? Hogwash, utter hogwash!”

However, later in the day, a number of groups with similarly unusual dual goals came out in support of CC.

Jasmine Lovington, the founder of ‘Sow & Blow’, who have a vision of “working towards a design utopia of exquisite and fine needlework with better felatio” said “ I think what they are saying is fine. Some things just go well together, be it women and reducing fossil fuel emissions or excellent sowing and sound sexual practice.”

Bob Flannel, the boss at ‘BeeBrush’, whose motto is ‘painting and decorating towards a better life for Honey Badgers’ said” “Let live is my view. We had a meaningless existence until we realised that making someone’s home beautiful could also help very aggressive badgers in need.”

Finally, Flossy UnderShed, of the Women’s Institute, who have just launched their ‘Superb Cake through Death Metal’ campaign said, “I thinks it’s lovely what they are doing. Quite frankly my cake making was rubbish until I heard Opeth’s ‘Demon of the Fog’. It just lit me up. Suddenly my sponge was fluffy and my icing to die for.”