Recents in Beach

Grand Canyon Rocked

US tourism was in meltdown this week after the UNESCO World Heritage Centre officially reclassified the Grand Canyon as “a big f*cking hole in the ground.”

But America is not the only country to have its crown jewels put under the microscope.

Egypt was stunned last year when the pyramids were described as “a shit load of yellow rubble with crappy statues”. France is still nursing its onions after the Eiffel Tower was re-imagined as “a remarkably weedy structure made out of old trawler parts.”  Italy was sent mafioso when Venice was described as, “a bit like Croydon but underwater and with slightly better shops.” Even Cambodia has felt the heat, with the vast Angkor Watt temple complex now deemed as “worse than a really piss poor effort on Minecraft.”

Suspicions are rife that the World Heritage organisation is being secretly funded by several British town councils, in attempt to rein vigour tourism in the South East. Three Bridges, Redhill and Crawley were each described to be of “significant cultural importance.”

A man from Redhill remarked, “Well, that’s just bollocks,” and then beat up our interviewer.